Salam 3laikum jami3an
23 March 2010
Hour 1300
"Alhamdulillah, I have found a new formula to wake up back from feeling 'down'. And I figured that when we feel that, don't let the feeling control us but say to ourselves that we will try again with iman spirit because if we let the feeling control us, we won't do the things that we are suppose to do and we will do the things that we shouldn't do. And that is why Allah send us that feeling is to teach us how to wake up if we face the state of feeling 'down'.
I will be tested on what I told to others. I wonder this matter of conversation (waking up from feeling down) will be tested right away or after this or soon"
I said to Kak Cik in the bus, going back from jami3h.
Had a nice conversation about life, individual potential, knowledge and many more with her....
-------------------------------------------
23 March 2010
Hour 1800
After going back from Madinah Hasan, Stadium of Irbid with many incidents happened there, I went to Raihana's room as someone told me that my Organic Chem was with her....
I sprinted to her room as though something good will be happening.
"Rai, dah dapat kertas ea?? Kite punya mana ye?" I said with smile carved.
"Ada kat Nabil."
I took the paper from Nabil (she's a girl) with no doubt of why mine was with her..
Well, to be honest, seeing my mark was just 0 and 8 written on that paper, it gave me no shock...
They told me that the lecturer marked my paper wrongly...
Yet, alhamdulillah, my iman preserved me from being insane
(Imagine if you got only 8 out of 30? It can be a huge rock that readily to be falling on you)
Well, 08 wasn't my mark, it was wrong....
Frankly, I was still disappointed even though it was proven wrong. I started to think that I didn't do my really best in OC exam and doubted my answers.
Getting low mark in Physiology (got the mark on the same day - I think there might be something wrong with the computer system) and don't-know-yet-the-true-mark in Organic Chemistry made me feel 'down'. I didn't confess it but also not denying.
Heading towards my friends room for consultation and told them what I felt. (Well, this is my way of how to relieve my disappointment, tell others and consult them)
I told them that I was sad for the two things happened on the same day. Yes, I knew it was test from Allah but I couldn't run away from that feeling as it came to my inside. And I was barely accepted the truth (though i managed to obtain such low marks in secondary schools.huhu.).
Well, many advices from friends I received, giving me spirit.
Izzah Saidy said,
"When those who are always on top (well, I'm not a top student, but this is a general statement) fall down once, grab the chance of feeling like those who are at the bottom"
Saiyidah Solehah said,
"Well, it was just like what you said to me that you always be tested on what you told to others. See, now you are tested. So wake up back!! You are being tested now"
My lips were sealed for a moment but not my heart. It was just like my heart being enlightened back with Allah's love. He reminded me about this through my friend. Alhamdulillah.
I said,
"Ya Allah, you're right. Even though I said to you about feeling down about 'iman' matters, but it is applicable to 'dunia' matters"
Well, I always heard about wake up from the failure from many people, but it was just a theory for me before (well, I can say that it has no means for me), thus practical is needed to implement it in practical. And that is why Allah gives us tests, to implement the theory we knew"
After all, my spirit has been restored back. I grasp my fingers into a fist, not really tight and push upwards (ot like action kamen), and yell,
"Kena bangun balik!! Allahu akbar!!" ^_^
Ya Allah, give us consistency in action
And preserve our heart from being blinded
Guide us to Your way
Amin!!
----------------------------------------------
"Banyak perkara yg perlu dipelajari di dunia ini, tapi kita tak akan mampu belajar semua dalam satu masa, jadi, terimalah kekurangan yg ada pada diri, namun berusahalah utk memperbaiki kekurangan itu walaupun no one is perfect"
Wallahua3lam
